Tuesday, September 23, 2014

The TRUTH about dating

There is SO much that dating has been teaching me over these last few months and I thought that I would share some of what I've learned with those who would like a different perspective. This summer I turned 31 (yes, I know but it is true, I am 31) and I felt like I needed to make a decision of either staying in my young single adult ward or to "graduate" and try the mid-singles ward. That was kind of a big deal because it felt like there was NO going back. I did make the decision to attend the mid-singles ward and it has been just fine. Nothing like I had pictured of being approached right off the bat and being asked out because I have heard stories haha...

1. We all have the same basic needs and wants which are to be loved and to have a family.
2. Our lives don't always happen the way we planned or hoped. Some don't get married until later in life or some experience marriage but then get divorced..
3. The age limit for my ward is 31-45 and I thought about how those who don't get married before they are too old to be in the ward must feel having to leave..
4. Dating is most likely difficult for ALL of us!!
5. Being yourself is the best thing you can do. Your date will either like you and appreciate you for it or they won't so just be you.
6. It's ok if you don't get asked out on a second date because there will be others who will ask you out.
7. Our confidence as well as our comfort level with dating grows the more we go on dates.
8. Being open to those who ask you out on dates provides you with variety. How do you really know what you are looking for or who the Lord wants you to be with? Maybe your future spouse has already been married or has children. Limiting your options might not be such a great thing.
9. Be patient with others as well as yourself in the dating process.
10. Be BOLD!! Take some risks. It is empowering and feels good to see what is possible and can happen if you just take a risk.
11. Put some trust in the other person. Scary I know but necessary to have a relationship.
12. Try to not think the worst. Be positive.
13. We all make mistakes in dating and in life but what's important is learning from them.
14. Sometimes you get caught off guard by your own feelings for someone because you weren't expecting to feel the way that you do. Don't let fear be in control and don't run away! Embrace what you feel and the possibilities.
15. It is far better to talk about what you are feeling/thinking with someone you have been going out with on multiple dates and want to have something more with them than to keep it to yourself.
16. Dating helps you to figure out what you want and need in someone. Those who don't pursue you fall away and leave those who remain. From those who remain you can figure out what to pursue if anything.
17. Being respectful of your date is important. Dress nice, look your best, put on your listening ears and make your date feel good. They are probably just as nervous as you are and have probably had their own struggles with dating. Why not make the dating experience a little bit easier on them and help each other on your dating journeys?
18. There is a silver lining in everything and everything serves a purpose!

A few other things that I have learned that I wanted to expand upon are for starters:

This quote is TRUE!!! I've been able to find people who are open to hearing what I have to say and they are understanding. It is so refreshing and nice to know that I don't have to pretend to be someone I am not or who I think they want me to be. I have chosen to simply be myself and it feels good to be true to who I am. Not only does that feel good but being able to see how people like me for just being me is awesome! Why do we try to be anybody but ourselves? Simply be you and you will be SO much happier!

This picture I find to be hilarious! haha...I have found that there are guys that I am interested in and why not go after what it is I want? You never know what can happen so go for it! There is nothing wrong with having confidence in yourself and taking risks. Some guys need to be pushed a little because they are just as unsure or scared as you. The worst thing that can happen is that it won't work out or whatever but that makes room for what is RIGHT and what is meant to be!
I have met an amazing man who has taught me a lot. He takes life by the horns and enjoys it to the fullest with an awesome attitude. One of the things that he has taught me is to speak up. If there is something that I desire he encourages me to speak up and let him know. He cares how I feel and wants to know my opinion. How often do we keep our desires to ourselves because we are afraid or not confident? So try to speak up more. Of course do it tactfully and with wanting appropriate things haha...When you truly find people who let you be you and don't mind what you say it really is a great feeling!

No comments: